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What is love?

Is it something we are taught?

Is it a feeling, an emotion or what?

What about physical attraction?

Do looks matter in a relationship?

125699-1920x1200-1024x640The English word “love” can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from pleasure (“I loved that meal”) to interpersonal attraction. (“I love my partner”). It can refer to an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment. It can also be a virtue representing human kindness, compassion, and affection”the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another”. And it may describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one’s self or animals. I don’t think that looks should matter in a relationship; it’s what’s inside the person that matters. I know someone to whom looks matter more than anything and he is what is termed a “Player,” is shallow and really does not know what love truly is, he tells all the ladies the same thing without meaning it to any of them how much he loves that person and that they are the only one in his life. He is missing out on so much. To him, is you are not slender don’t bother him. Probably why I hardly talk with him.
What is love? It is one of the most difficult questions for the mankind. Centuries have passed by, relationships have bloomed and so has love. But no one can give the proper definition of love. To some Love is friendship set on fire for others Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it. No matter how you define it or feel it, love is the eternal truth in the history of mankind. Some have tried to use the following to define love: profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person, feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend, a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart, affectionate concern for the well-being of others.
Love is patient, love is kind. It has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud. It rejoices over the evil and is the truth seeker. 482452_620250331326549_1714635493_nLove protects; preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life. Always stand steadfast in love, not fall into it. It is like the dream of your matter of affection coming true. Love can occur between two or more individuals. It bonds them and connects them in a unified link of trust, intimacy and interdependence. It enhances the relationship and comforts the soul. Love should be experienced and not just felt. The depth of love cannot be measured. Look at the relationship between a mother and a child. The mother loves the child unconditionally and it cannot be measured at all. A different dimension can be attained between any relationships with the magic of love. Love can be created. You just need to focus on the goodness of the other person. If this can be done easily, then you can also love easily. And remember we all have some positive aspect in us, no matter how bad our deeds maybe. God said to us “LOVE ALL.” Depending on the context, love can be of different varieties. Romantic love is a deep, intense and unending. It shared on a very intimate and interpersonal and sexual relationship. The term Platonic love, familial love and religious love are also matter of great affection. It is more of desire, preference and feelings. The meaning of love will change with each different relationship and depends more on its concept of depth, versatility, and complexity. But at times the very existence of love is questioned. Some say it is false and meaningless. Some say that it doesn’t exist, because there have been many instances of hatred and brutality in relationships. But love is not responsible for that. It is us; the people who have forgotten the meaning of love have undertaken such gruesome apathy.
301929_440667259361168_800767817_nIn terms of interpersonal attraction, four forms of love have traditionally been distinguished, based on ancient Greek precedent: the love of family, the love of friendship, the love of sexual and/or romantic desire and divine love. This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, compared to other emotional states. The word “love” can have a variety of related but distinct meanings in different contexts and cultures. Interpersonal love refers to love between human beings. It is a more potent sentiment than a simple liking for another. Unrequited love refers to those feelings of love that are not reciprocated. Interpersonal love is most closely associated with interpersonal relationships. And this love might exist between family members, friends, and couples. Empty love only includes commitment. Romantic love includes both intimacy and passion. Companionate love includes intimacy and commitment. Fatuous love includes passion and commitment. Lastly, consummate love includes all three. There are many different theories which attempt to explain what love is, 68570_613296528688596_693395762_nand what function it serves. It would be very difficult to explain love to a hypothetical person who had not himself or herself experienced love or being loved. In fact, to such a person love would appear to be quite strange if not outright irrational behavior.  Also there are theories that consider love to be an unexplainable mystery, very much like a mystical experience. Love also includes compatibility. I think that it is more of journey to the unknown when the concept of compatibility comes into picture. Maybe the person whom we see in front of us, may be least compatible than the person who is miles away. We might talk to each other and portray that we love each other, but practically we do not end up into any relationship. Also in compatibility, the key is to think about the long term successful relationship, not a short journey. We need to understand each other and must always remember that nobody is perfect.
Be together, share your joy and sorrow, understand each other, provide space to each other, but always be there for each other. And surely love will blossom to strengthen your relationship.

Kathy Kiefer



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Jack-Vettriano-Winter-Light-and-Lavender-66131As long as I can remember I have always heard and was taught from a young age  about loving your neighbor as yourself, for if you don’t love yourself how can you expect anyone else to love , let alone  care about you.    Part of this  I think stems from a positive self image, but far to often even as a child one gets put down by those that are suppose to care  for or about them be it family or friends, it can be difficult at times.  It’s a rare person that helps to teach and show the way about loving self.   But some emotions and feelings can’t be taught; they come from deep within the individual, and to each person it can be a bit different and unique as we all are.   Loving yourself is different from being arrogant, conceited or egocentric.  Loving yourself means caring about oneself, taking responsibility for oneself, respecting oneself, and knowing oneself (e.g. being realistic and honest about one’s strengths and weaknesses). Also to be able to truly love another person, a person needs first to love oneself in this way.   Loving and caring for others is a natural extension of one ’s self.

Loving yourself requires you to be truthful about your own feelings. If you are happy, acknowledge the joy, likewise if you are sad, The-letter
acknowledge the sorrow. When you are truthful about your feelings, you do not try to lie to yourself or seek to bury your negative emotions. Instead, acknowledging what you feel can provide an insight into one’s thoughts.  Thoughts and actions can be changed, so that healing and self growth can take place.  When you spend time growing spiritually, loving yourself becomes automatic. You become more peaceful, connected, kind, loving and compassionate. You nurture a mind that grows more beautiful by the day. You naturally love yourself in the process and that can go a long way into making you a better person.   You have to find things that make you happy and enjoy that can be a sport, cooking, photography, painting and many more things.


All things that one enjoys and loves doing serves to make the individual a more rounded person and you are unique in that way.  No one else is like you or me everyone has a different thought process, different likes and dislikes.  Something I might like, enjoy or express someone else would not.   God made us all slightly different.   If we were all the same what a dull place the world would be.

Love of a Parent  (or aunt/uncle) for a child.  Love for Sibling(s)


I have no children of my own, but I have niece and nephew who I love with all my heart, and would do just about anything within my power for them, to help them and to teach them good values, accepting them for who they are, and not what I think they should be.   This is unconditional love.

But also when you are a parent, you love your child unconditionally warts and all. There is no love that can ever compare to the love a parent feels for the child, it starts even before they are born, and continues when they arrive.  Even if a woman is unable to conceive and a couple adopts a child, the feeling is so awesome and amazing.   You really begin to find out what real love is all about.
The love you feel for your child goes deeper than any love you have ever felt or will ever feel, even for your spouse or partner. You have a connection with the child because you know that he/she is a part of you and that they are the greatest gift you will ever receive. When you become a parent, you learn how to love someone without expecting anything and would give up your life if necessary.


A parent loves their child (or children) as long as their life endures. When parents feel the bond of life to the children, parental love naturally springs up. Parents cannot help but loving children, not because of a forced consciousness to love them intentionally, but because of life connecting them.  I grew up with 2 parents that loved my brother and I equally, taught us right from wrong and encouraged us, shared joys and sorrows with us and we also got taught good values.  We enjoy some of the same things, but there are things that my brother enjoys that I do not and vice-a-versa.   We are the same family but also our own individual person.  While I enjoy the theatre, my brother enjoys going to concerts of what musical artists he enjoys.   I enjoy music, as well as opera, but our musical tastes are different, just as we share things that we both enjoy and yet have things that we enjoy doing that are unique to the person (i.e., I enjoy doing calligraphy and crocheting, my brother enjoys hockey and skating).

Gabrielle Jean and a girl Pierre Auguste RenoirSibling rivalry is as natural as breathing, but as a child learning how to love another also seems to require guidance and attention for the parent or care-giver.   Yet there would appear to be personalities that are naturally more caring and loving, while some are born competitive and headstrong. It would be in a child’s best interest for their parents to nurture a love for their sibling, and I know that this is one of the many things our parents fostered in both of us.

A family is a team, and teamwork means cooperation, consideration, and care. No one has to go it alone (even if one is a single parent, there should be a good support system in place).  A child should lean that being part of the family team that you are in this together. They need to be cheerleaders for each other. Teach by example, but also with words. Prompt children to encourage each another if someone’s having a bad day or facing a big test. Children can learn to be huge supporters of their siblings. Clue them into the needs of their siblings. It is a unique relationship.   Siblings need to be an ally for each other.   Although outsiders can be fun to have over (friends, neighbours, other family, nothing can substitute for time alone with the family.

Parents should nurture each child’s talents without hurtful comparisons.  I guess part of the point about my brother and I (like my niece and nephew now) is that even though inherently we share traits, we are our own individual person as are any siblings, and are able to express our   talents and leanings.  We both were given opportunities to try and experience new things.   Also in working with children, celebrate diffences and success.  Siblings will learn to love each other for their unique contributions to the family.



Love is the most profound emotion known to human beings. For most of us (me included), a romantic relationship is one of the most meaningful things in our life. But the ability to have a healthy, loving relationship is not innate. At one time or another I am sure that many people have experienced a failed relationship, and we have to work consciously to master the skills necessary to make them flourish.With hard work and perseverance we succeed.

Daniela-Mezzadri__omaggio-a-Vettriano-6_gRomance is an expression of one’s strong love or a deed and strong emotional desire to connect with another person intimately.    But there is also what some define as platonic love (more of a friendship) than emotional.  Like a child for a parent, parent for child.  When one is truly in love it is all consuming.  All thoughts and desires are of the other person.  People do fall out of love, if they were ever in love to begin with, in such cases it can be called infatuation.   Or maybe if it was real love, and the     love and   romance dissipated, they simple drifted apart.   But the feeling and emotions come from deep within the core of one’s very being.   Writing of love such as sonnets, poetry and music aid in expressing our feelings toward another person.

Young love is sometimes referred to a puppy love, and is a new and scary experience, as the person has never felt anything like this before.  It can blossom into so much more for their intended or leave just as quickly as it came, like a brook heading toward a large lake or ocean.


Kathy Kiefer